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 I'm glad I'm a Woman!

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Rebecca-Jayne
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PostSubject: I'm glad I'm a Woman!   Sat Apr 28, 2007 5:37 am

I'M GLAD I'M A WOMAN
I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am.
I don't live off of Budweiser, Beer Nuts and Spam.
I don't brag to my buddies about my erections.
I won't drive to Hell before I ask for directions.

I don't get wasted at parties, and act like a clown.
And I know how to put that damned toilet seat down!
I won't grab your hooters, I won't pinch your butt.
My belt buckle's not hidden beneath my beer gut.

And I don't go around "readjusting" my crotch,
or yell like Tarzan when my headboard gets a notch.
I don't belch in public, I don't scratch my behind.
I'm a woman you see-I'm just not that kind!

I'm glad I'm a woman, I'm so glad I could sing.
I don't have body hair like not aloud carpeting.
It doesn't grow from my ears or cover my back.
When I lean over you can't see 3 inches of crack.
And what's on my head doesn't leave with my comb.
I'll never buy a toupee to cover my dome.

Or have a few hairs pulled from over the side.
I'm a woman, you know-I've got far too much pride!
And I honestly think its a privilege for me,
to have these two boobs and sit down when I pee.
I don't live to play golf and shoot basketball.
I don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal.

I won't tell you my wife just does not understand,
or stick my hand in my pocket to hide that gold band.
Or tell you a story to make you sigh and weep,
then screw you, roll over and fall sound asleep!
Yes, I'm so very glad I'm a woman, you see.
Forget all about that old penis envy.

I don't long for male bonding, I don't cruise for chicks.
Join the Hair Club For Men, or think with my not aloud.
I'm a woman by chance and I'm thankful, it's true.
I'm so glad I'm a woman and not a man like you!


Last edited by on Sat Apr 28, 2007 5:56 am; edited 1 time in total
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Sarah
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PostSubject: Re: I'm glad I'm a Woman!   Sat Apr 28, 2007 5:54 am

lol

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~xHannahx~
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PostSubject: Re: I'm glad I'm a Woman!   Sat Apr 28, 2007 8:27 am

lol!
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loudun
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PostSubject: Re: I'm glad I'm a Woman!   Sun Apr 29, 2007 1:45 pm

LOL
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madmumof2
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PostSubject: Re: I'm glad I'm a Woman!   Mon May 21, 2007 3:24 am

lol
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saraho
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PostSubject: Re: I'm glad I'm a Woman!   Tue May 29, 2007 5:05 pm

thats good lol
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Rebecca-Jayne
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PostSubject: Re: I'm glad I'm a Woman!   Wed May 30, 2007 12:29 am

lol i just re-read it and saw that some of the words in there were replaced with 'not aloud' I guess they were naughty words, but damned if I can remember then now. Poem doest have the same ring to it now, lol.
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maz1981
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PostSubject: Re: I'm glad I'm a Woman!   Fri Jun 01, 2007 4:49 pm

Too Funny thats was very funny!!!

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saraho
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PostSubject: Re: I'm glad I'm a Woman!   Fri Jun 01, 2007 5:07 pm

lol
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